don't forget to set the vidio for little Britain
by Benman
Summary: My shot at an episode of little Britain. Rated for strong language


_Britain, Britain, Britain. Home of many interesting animals such as the bird, the penguin and the minotuar. But have you ever stoped to think of the people of Britain? Because it is them who we will be spying on today._

_Booyackasha._

_It is nine past boogaloo and vicky pollard has gone to see her carreers adviser. _

Vicky pollard waiked in with her familer bored look on. "sit down please vicky" asked the carreers adiviser seated at an opposite desk.

Vicky slumped down on the chair.

"So Vicky, what occupation do you have in mind?"

"occu- what? Shut up i anien't even got nothing to do with it! Have you been speaking to jason? Don't listen to him becuase he's got man tits"

The adviser looked at Vicky confused.

"Let me put it another way, what do you want to do when your older?"

"nobutyeahbutnobutyeahbutnobutyeahbutnobutyeahbut i don't know becuase wot happend was danny punched this guy coz he called him a minger but he diden't but he did and i never broke no school window and if lara says i did don't listen to her because she plays with herself"

"Vicky, what are you good at?"

"no but you can't say that because..."

The adviser interrupted vicky.

"Vicky, what the hell do you want to do when you leave school?"

"Dun know, lap dancing or sumthing"

The adviser looked at vicky with dissapointment.

"don't go giving me evils" shouts Vicky.

_Over at no 10 the prime minister is making a tellevision device transmission. I watched a tellevision programme once, but i missed it._

The prime minister was sitting on his desk in front of a TV camera. He was about to make a campaign to get veiwers to vote him in on the coming up election day. The camraman counted down

"5..4...3...2...1..your on the air mr prime minister.

"when i first..."

Before the prime minister could finish sebastion burst in.

"Hiya, just thought i'd bring you some tea and biscuits. Now, do you want custard cream or a hobnob?"

The prime minister looked terribly embarresd. Sebastion turned round and saw the camera. He waved.

"Hello mum".

_When i want to relax i like to hit myself over the head with a very big hammer. Some people prefer to go to special Yoga or "yogurt" classes like this one._

Emily howard, the not-very good transvestite strolled to the gym reception very "lady like" as he calls it, and addressed the man at the desk.

"Hello i'd like to book a ladies yoga class for ladies please"

The man looked puzzeld.

"Why?"

"Because i am a lady and i like to do ladies things which ladies do because that is what i am, a lady."

"Well, i'm sorry but we'r all booked this week"

"But i am a lady!"

"Well i can't help you"

Emily looked outraged

"well goodbye to you then!".

As emily waiked out she stuck the finger up at them and shouted in a mans voice.

"you wankers".

_When people in britain want to go _ _and get some sun they go to a beach. Lou has decided to take his disabled frenid Andy to the beach. _

It was sunney. Lou was sunbathing while Andy was sitting in his wheelchair.Lou went up to Andy.

"do you want to do anything"

"yeah"

"what do you want to do"

"Be buried in the sand"

Lou looked at Andy with a questioning look.

"are you sure"

"yeah"

"coz the last time i buried you in sand you diden't like it, it took me ages to get you out again, it was a right kerfuffle".

"yeah i know"

"so what'il it be then."

"buried in sand".

Lou finnaly gave in and buried andy in the sand with only his head visible, and as soon as lou had finished after 2 hours of nonstop burying...

"i don't like it" moans Andy.

_Moonwhile a pianst is playing a peice at the uncle albert halls._

The pianst was playing "turkish march" on his piano when suddenly he stopped and turned to the auidence.

"Oh no, i forgot to set the vidio for dr who. Shit".

And with that he got back to his peice.

_I hope you enjoyed this tour around Britain. If not, you may like to immigrait to mars and declare war on earth.goodbaabaa_


End file.
